I must admit that eating food handed to you by an anonymous hand and forearm emerging from the darkened flyscreen-covered window of a caravan adjoining a public toilet block in an Australian Capital Territory carpark sounds about as healthy as asking Ivan Milat to make the travel and accommodation bookings for your next budget holiday.
And previously, I admit, the food I’ve been handed from the hatches of any former mobile homes has always helped me immediately understand why those Ewoks were constantly referring to the “Caravan of Courage”.
But Brodburger, parked on the shores of Lake Burley Griffin in Canberra, seems to have ignored the enduring, intimate and previously inescapable relationship between van food, 3am beer-flavoured hunger pangs, and a good dose of raging septicaemia.
The Brodburger caravan has become an instant hit in Canberra, although that shouldn’t really be a shock given the city’s other main attractions include a three week tulip festival and a water cannon that sprays water from the lake into … well, the lake. But let’s not take away from the quality of Brodburger’s own approach. After all, it’s appeal is proven by the queues prepared to endure the intense urinal cake aroma from the nearby restroom facilities as they await their number being hollered from within the mystery of that tiny van’s smoky interior, racing forward from the entrance to the Gents to claim their warm, meaty prize. The burger, that is… unless you run the wrong way.
Brodburgers are simple creations, high-quality meat, a soft but lightly toasted bun, low levels of vegetation and your selection of three cheeses (brie, blue or cheddar). But the ingredients that bring it all together are definitely the homemade aioli and tomato relish - the sweetness of the pickled tomatoes merging perfectly with the zest and bite of the fresh aioli.
My only concern is that after the anxiety of queuing and waiting in a carpark, and the nervous intestinal energy sparked by culinary Russian roulette that is van food, I was left feeling hungry after one decently sized Brodburger. However, that problem has been solved, because the man in the van also offers the Brodburger Deluxe – comprising two patties, bacon and two eggs – as well as the BrodChicken, BrodFin, BrodVeg and even miniature Brodbabies (perhaps for smuggling into the tulip festival).
But remember… this is a van, in a carpark, in the ACT. Stocks are limited and are not replenished during the day. As a result, chips and Cokes disappear from the menu by early afternoon, followed by the day’s most popular burger types. All I can recommend is, get there early - certainly well before Laurie Oakes.